That Helplessness

Feb 14, 2010
The night was already past nine and I was trying to catch an auto to get home from the railway station. The one I managed to stop, he asked for forty rupees which was double the rate for the distance. I negotiated to thirty and we set off. I noticed he was really young, in his early teens probably. He had a thin frame, a very innocent looking face; the drivers seat seemed too big for him. A min later, he started the conversation.

"Aaj picture nahi gaye?" You didn't go for the movie?
My Name Is Khan was playing in the theaters.

"Tickets nahi mile" Didn't get the tickets
"Black main dekhna" You should have bought the tickets in black
"Tumhari umar kitni hai?" What's your age?
"sola" 16
I notice the cigarette in his left hand, but he doesn't inhale that frequently. The smoke dissipates in the hyderabad breeze.

"Aur tum din bhar auto chalate ho?" And you drive an auto the whole day?
"haan, subah se shaama" yes, morning to evening
"tum school gaye ho?" Did you go to school?
"nahi?" No
"gaye nahi ki chor diya?" You never joined or you quit going?
"chor diya. ghar main pareshani hai, isliye auto chalata" Quit going. Problems at home, that's why I drive an auto
"mere ko bhi bahot jee karta, accha padhne ka. main do heezen padhta hoon. english aur islam. ek teacher aata subah. 500-600 rupye leta. main subah padtha, phir auto chalata din bhar. aapke jaise logan, bacchon se kama karwate udhar. yeh accha nahi. mere ko bahot jee karta padhne ka.."
I also want to read, study well. I am learning two things, english and islam. There's a teacher that comes in mornings, takes 500-600 Rupees (per month). I study in the mornings, and then drive auto the whole day. Rich people like you make the kids work over there (his home/area?). That is not good. I really want to read, study.

I tell him that he's still young, he can do it. He can study privately like he does, and appear for board exams, and pass school. He gives me a vague reply and I feel he won't make it. It's too hard for him to realize his dream without facilities, guidance (parental, social?). He won't make it.

He keeps talking about money, his desire to study, I listen. I tell him again, he can do it and that he has to try.

My place has come, I get down; he pulls out a white sheet of paper.
"Yeh dehko, police ne diya. Chalan 300 Rupee ka aaj" See this, the traffic cop gave me a ticket for 300 Rupees.
That's probably his entire days earnings. I feel bad for negotiating with him earlier.

"Tumne diya?" Did you give?
"Diya na. Mera auto le leta tha na nahi toh". I had to give, otherwise he would have taken my auto.
"Oh". I feel sorry for him. He sees that on my face, and the sympathy comforts him, perhaps that's why he showed me the chalan.

I give him fifty Rupees. He doesn't take, only thirty he says. I tell him this is a bit extra for your studies. He takes the fingers of his right palm, touches his heart and says

"aapne mohabbat se bola, bas wahi hai. Paisa kya hai..haath ka mail hai. Bas aapne mohabbat se bola, wai kafi hai" You said with love, that's enough. What's money, it comes and goes. But you said with love, that itself is enough.

I give a pat on his back and tell him he should try and study. He takes off with a smile on his face; he's a hero, this kid. Here is a kid who wants to study and there are no avenues for him. Collectively, as a society, we've have failed him. Haven't we? I realize I ave forgotten to ask his name; may be I should have offered to teach him. But it's over now, and I've lost him.